Snow White and the Owl

The Owl was known as the wisest of creatures in the forest. His sage advice was legendary, though his ability to predict the lottery numbers could be called into question. But he did know many things, some quite important stuff, like marmite with honey did not make a good sandwich filler. So the animals came and listened to his wise counsel. Snow White sat enraptured as the Owl spoke. He was giving cooking advice to a strange old woman who stood stooped beside him with a basket full of apples. But it wasn’t food which warmed Snow’s heart, it was love and she had a burning question she wanted answered about her wedding. So looking up at the wise old bird with wide open eyes she asked “If a celebrant leads my ceremony will my marriage be a proper one?”

“Twit...” Replied the Owl, though that was no reflection on her question, he always started his answers like that “Towoo. To wed, the desire of your heart, your wedding will be in more than one part. Register office for the legality, in what they call a Simple Ceremony, then a more elaborate affair, anytime, anywhere, to speak the vows you want to say, for that will be your ceremony, your way”.

Snow White was thrilled. ‘I get two weddings!’ she thought. The quiet legal one and then the super duper ceremony where she and the prince could exchange those heartfelt vows they had written each other. She wondered if the palace budget would stretch to two wedding dresses. Probably not, she admitted reluctantly but she could wear that gorgeous gown she had designed for the second do. That would be the one that the guests were invited to after all.

And once they had done the legal bit, saying the declaratory and contractual words, then signing the certificate at the Simple Ceremony in front of their two witnesses they could get married anywhere! Well that meant she could have the wedding of her dreams at home. Though she wasn’t quite sure where that was – the dwarves cottage or the palace gardens? But who was to walk her down the aisle at the second do? Such a dilemma! She risked making one dwarf happy but another grumpy if she didn’t choose carefully.

‘That’s a question to ask wise Owl another day’, she decided and sneezed. ‘Oh bother!’ She thought she had quite forgotten about her allergy to owl feather.

“Getting a cold dear?” Asked the old woman, handing her an apple. “You know what they say – an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

Snow was about to reach for it when the Owl flew past “Twit!” He hooted. Snow sneezed so fiercely that the apple was blown out of the old woman’s hand. The sneeze frightened the forest animals and their stampede crushed the fruit into the earth.

“Sorry!” Said Snow, wiping her nose on her sleeve, “I’ve got allergies”. And she set off for the dwarves’ home, humming away to herself.

The old lady took a step after her and slipped and fell backwards on the fruit pulp. “Oh b….” She said but her words were drowned out by the Owl swooping down low and flying past “Twit terwoo, that got you!” And it sounded suspiciously like he was blowing a raspberry as he flew off into the forest. He may have been a wise old bird but his manners left a lot to be desired!

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